More Processing
Tuesday November 16, 2004
Between fasting, emotional situations, and the late night I got up tired. I spent a couple of hours just reading and relaxing, then got ready to do my exercises when Faol called. (Hmm, I notice a pattern here -- Faol calls and I end up not doing my exercises. I need to just do the exercycle when he calls so that I get some exercise done anyway.) We chatted and had an ok conversation though Faol and Joyful had words over a minor matter in the middle. I really don’t like it when he and I are talking, and this is my time with him, to have to sit there waiting through often lengthy conversations about something or other between them, and I especially don’t like it when they are arguing.
Mostly today I did email and read. We did go in the hot tub finally. The
water was cloudy over the weekend when I would have liked to go in it after
the rock moving. Later in the evening Joyful called and we talked, and processed
again for almost two hours. She seems to be having a difficult time and I
wish that I could just fix it for her but it isn’t that kind of thing.
My feeling about it is that they have gotten into some very negative relationship
and communication patterns that are being exasperated by the D/s relationship
between them. I don’t feel that the D/s is really the cause of it though
but just heightens all the emotion and exaggerates the behaviors. I am concerned
that they are not going to be able to work it out to their mutual satisfaction.
This isn’t the first time that the same sorts of things have occurred
in the past but it is very draining and puts quite a strain on the relationship.
And the state of their relationship affects me as well.
Copyright © 2004 Kyril Oakwind