Set Aside
Thursday December 9, 2004
I woke up tired just before 10 am and here it is noon and I still haven’t gotten moving at all. Faol is now talking with Joyful and is in the hot bath. I think we are going to be enjoying “hot” water a lot more for awhile :) We need to go food shopping but won’t get the time now so I am really hoping that he will finally get the side mirrors on the truck adjusted and the seat moved so that I can drive it and go shopping this afternoon.
Their conversation became difficult resulting in an unpleasant morning and my time with Faol evaporated. I spent time crying in the bedroom while he was on the phone, partially because of what I was picking up from the phone conversation empathically, and partially because I was strongly feeling that my needs would be set aside for those of others Faol is involved with because as he has commented “the squeaky wheel” and I am rarely the squeaky wheel. But it doesn't seem fair to me that he allows his other relationships to consistently take precedence.
He did move the side mirrors on the truck but then remembered that his turn signals weren’t working and he didn’t want me going out to shop that way so now we are going to a store when he gets home tonight. I guess it is open 24 hours.
I was tired when he left, feeling emotionally drained from the tension. Instead of exercising I had my lunch while doing some email. Then I decided I would take a long hot bath and relax. The stool was set up with my bath things and the water running when Joyful called. Her first words to me were asking what I had heard Faol say. So my first response was to feel dread. I was ready to take a peaceful bath and now I thought I would be processing instead. And it is true it started out that way but it went ok and we ended up having a nice conversation. But I can’t say that it was very relaxing.
Afterwards I did the exercycle but just couldn’t make myself do the rest of the exercises so I called Tom. I enjoyed that:)
So far I haven’t seen the possum tonight and am rather hoping not to
unless Faol is home at the time.
Copyright © 2004 Kyril Oakwind