Year Ending Contemplation
Tuesday December 28, 2004
Faol called yesterday. I hadn’t heard from him for a couple of days while he is off to OH for the holidays. It was good to hear his voice though he wasn’t as chipper as I had hoped he would be. But I hope things improve for him there.
Tom had to go into town to work today something I didn’t realize was happening until last night as he was laying things out. It was an unpleasant surprise but not a real problem.
Today has been a good day so far. I was a little down after doing my Holosync this morning so I decided to turn on the radio and I have been singing and dancing while riding the exercycle and doing my chores, which has improved my mood quite a bit. I heard a song that brought tears to my eyes and reminded me of Faol so I sat down and wrote him a romantic email and sent it off. Perhaps it will help pick up his mood a bit.
The laundry is drying; the dishes are done; the plants are watered, and I finished repotting the plants that needed it desperately. I called my mom (she is doing fine).
I am feeling very contemplative about the end of the year. I intended to begin the next sentence with “at my age”, but you know, though I do feel as if I am getting old sometimes, especially as I get up from the sofa after sitting down for a short time only to find that I have stiffened up and my knees are sore, I know that this isn’t old. Certainly I don’t have the smooth, taut skin of youth anymore (sigh…:) but I have all my body parts, most of my faculties;) I am alive and I am doing fine.
Life hasn’t been what I expected or even what I wanted over the last decade or so but during that time many very fine folks have shared their thoughts, their friendship, parts of their life with me. We have cried together, laughed together, experienced wonderful and not so wonderful ritual together. We have hurt and we have had pleasure, even joy. Some people have left my life and others have entered it. I have grown away from some people who were quite special to me for a time and whom I still think of with real affection and fondness whether we interact much or not anymore. I have been fortunate enough to have the respect of some amazing people, not because of any great accomplishment of mine, but simply for who I am and out of the generosity of their spirits.
For those of you who are reading this who actually know me, if you wonder
if I mean you, the answer is yes I do. And I thank you for the gifts you have
brought my life through your presence there, for the things you have taught
me whether intended or not, for the sharing of your heart.
Copyright © 2004 Kyril Oakwind