Kyril's Journal -- February 5, 2005

Set Aside Again

Saturday February 5, 2005

We had a busy day. Landscaping was our main task. I weeded the tree lawn while Faol pruned the Ficus bush, which had become a tree. He is concerned that it can push over the 60 ft palm tree, which is growing next to it as a Ficus puts out very extensive surface roots while a palm has a relatively small root ball. Anyway he pruned it back more and I picked up the branches and put them in the yard waste bin. He also pruned the pyracantha bush in preparation for getting a lattice panel to train it on. I raked up leaves and moved the concrete and brick that Faol dug out of the soil as he worked with it. There is a lot of debris like that just below the surface. I collected the piles he made and filled a couple of buckets with them for later removal to the dump. Finally we went out and purchased the lattice panel and a couple of yards of soil to put behind the retaining wall that he has been building.

Then Faol took a bath and I talked with Tom and got ready for our “date”. We were having another go at meeting with Faol’s friend. This time she was supposed to come to us and he gave her a time frame like between 5-7 pm. She said she would shoot for 6 pm. So I didn’t take a bath because I didn’t want to have just gotten in when she arrived. And she was late again. At 6:30 she called to ask Faol which would be the best route. He told her, then decided we should go ahead to the California Pizza Kitchen, and she could meet us there rather than have us wait til she arrived before going. So he called her back and told her how to get there and that we wouldn’t wait for her but would order right away.

At the restaurant there was a relatively short wait, perhaps 15 min. We ordered a Field green salad with carmelized walnuts and pear pieces to split. He ordered a white pizza with mozzarella, fontina, and two other white cheeses as well as a bit of basil and spinach. I had the spring rolls. When she arrived she sat down and took over by reaching out for our salad and serving it out on plates to all of us. She asked me if I wanted any then served me. I was not thrilled with that at all. I found her forward and didn’t care for the boundaries being crossed. While she seems like a nice enough person her way of saying good bye at the end of the time we spent was to lightly grab Faol’s nose, then do the same to me. I know that it isn’t a big thing and perhaps such behavior is acceptable in her community or family but I was not comfortable with the assumption of intimacy.

And as she was getting her left overs togo ready to take home she put the sauce containers in with it. I was not comfortable that she chose to steal something in front of me. She knew it wasn't really acceptable behavior because she gave us a story about her mother taking silverware once to imply that she wasn't as bad as her mother with this so it was okay. What I didn't like about it is that it put me in a position of going along with it or having to make a scene. It may not be a big thing but it is unethical to me. And should it ever happen in front of me again I am going to tell whoever is doing it that what they do on their own is their business but I feel obligated to let the restaurant know that they are doing it if it happens in front of me, and they should be aware of that. Later Faol told me that he should have just told her not to come when she called and was so late because he was annoyed with her all evening.

Afterwards we stopped to rent a movie, The Rookie. Neither of us had seen it before. We also stopped at a little book store called the Seven Crows as it caught Faol’s attention. We each got a book. I got the Way of the Wizard by Deepak Chopra. Once home I finally got my bath while Faol ran around setting up my computer in the bathroom so we could watch the movie DVD while I bathed. He got a chair to put the computer on, a chair for him to sit one, an extension cord to plug it in. Finally we were all set. Unfortunately my speakers were not making enough sound for us to really hear the dialogue, after all that trouble. So we decided to watch it upstairs on his computer when I was done. Then the phone rang. He took the call while I finished my bath. He was still on when I was done but told the person that he would only talk a bit longer because we had been trying to watch a movie. Then he also said that it wasn’t only the movie but that he wanted to spend time with me. I went upstairs to wait for him. I climbed into bed to be warm. After waiting quite awhile I got out of bed turned off the light and tried to sleep. But I was very angry and upset with him for once again putting a phone call ahead of our time together, especially as he had said that it was about spending time with me.