New Moon
Tuesday February 8, 2005
Today is the New Moon and I hope that we have planted seeds for a better relationship. Faol and I took a walk around the lake again – 3 circuits – and we talked about my feelings and what is going on with me in regard to our relationship. I said some very hard things and he listened without a whole lot of defensiveness, at least, he didn’t express it if he was feeling it. We didn’t really resolve anything but that wasn’t really the point. We aired my feelings about several issues and he reiterated his desire to work things out with me. He spoke of not wanting me to stuff my feelings but not wanting it to be that I am totally focused on what is wrong either. So I want to make a point to acknowledge to him when I see that he is trying to do better. I need to make sure that he knows that I appreciate his compromises and his efforts to take my feelings into consideration before acting. Tonight when I do my New Moon ritual I want to make an effort to let go of some of the past problems so that I can begin again with him with new eyes or at least more positive ones.
On one of the email lists that I am on a woman mentioned having used a deity creation form in a workshop to create new deities. “The form had a place for all the attributes a deity needs - powers, sacred objects (flower, animal, mineral, etc), mudras, etc.” She felt that though she was the only person who knew of the deity she created there was enough energy in Her that she was unforgettable after 20 years. Of course, I have also created characters in several stories 20 some years ago and I still remember them. Perhaps it is the act of creation that makes them so vivid. Perhaps sometimes they have a life of their own in some other dimension and the act of creation is really just the act of discovery :)
I decided to take it easy today after Faol left and not try and get so much
done so I exercised, called Tom, did the garbage and took the containers to
the street, washed the bathroom floor (hardwood with water damage and engrained
plaster dust), which really doesn’t look significantly better but produced
two buckets of muddy water and could have produced another one, I think, but
I decided it was good enough for the first try. I checked online to make sure
that the first automatic payment for Faol’s mortgage had gone through
all right so we don’t have to follow up on it to avoid being late. Now
I am writing in my journal and catching up with some email and he has only
been at work for 4 hours.
Copyright © 2005 Kyril Oakwind