Valentine's Day
Monday February 14, 2005
Today is Valentine’s Day. I woke up depressed. I have been unhappy here this trip most of the time. Part of it has been related to Faol’s being depressed. Part of it is my spiritual angst. Part of it is the problems between Faol and I. I don’t really know what to do about it. I took a hot bath and had barely gotten in when Faol got up. He came in and kissed me good morning and I told him what was going on with me. It was hard for him to hear. He climbed into the bath tub and gathered me into his arms. He spoke of feeling like he should send me away if I was so unhappy and being hurt by him but that he wasn’t going to do that. He wanted me and wouldn’t let go, at least not easily. After a bit he had to get out because he didn’t really fit and his toes were crunched. And he had had enough to overwhelm him emotionally so we moved to something else and he read to me from the book that we had been reading together.
It was the day to call Joyful so he finally did and I went upstairs and meditated while he talked with her. I don’t really know how long he was on the phone but after awhile he came up and took my hand, saying he needed my help. We went downstairs and he had figured out a way to unroll the rolls of fabric that were easier than the method I had tried on the first fabric roll. We finished unrolling and folding the fabric into more easily handled forms. The current plan is for me to take them home with me as checked luggage and pay the extra for over-weight luggage, which will actually be cheaper than mailing it.
After we finished that he took me upstairs and we had a combination of make up sex and Valentine’s Day sex. It was good and we both felt reconnected, I think.
He left and I called Tom for our usual conversation. While we were talking an acquaintance from here called. I told her I was on the phone and called her back. She and our friend, Dali, have been having a very rough time. I really can’t do much to help but I did listen. We are supposed to be going over there tonight if they can deal with visitors. I think they need to talk. But we will see. When I got off the phone I pulled myself together and went out and got water. It was the second time I have driven out here. I didn’t get the sideview mirrors lined up right though so I was very tense. It really was just a trek down one street about a mile and then down a block and back home again, all right turns :) The only problem was that I didn’t park well even though it was just the pull in kind of parking in a parking lot. I was going to back up and line up better but someone came right behind me and then pulled in next to me. So I just went ahead to get the water. It worked out all right as it left room for the cart to come right up to the driver’s side so I did have to put the water bottles in the driver’s seat then wiggle them over to the passenger’s side leg place. And I got home fine, carrying one bottle into the kitchen but leaving the other one by the door as I had pain in my hand that went all the way up to my elbow. I still felt as if I had accomplished something. Next time I will have Faol help me align the sideview mirrors.
When I got home I spent time on the finances again then made eggplant for
dinner. Now I am watching TV and updating this. Time to go do the dishes.
Copyright © 2005 Kyril Oakwind