Hard
Monday May 23, 2005
These last couple of weeks I have been working on getting ready for BelSummer, trying to exercise, and generally not getting done as much as I wish I would. My mood has been up and down. Yeah I know I say that a lot. There are times when I can look back and see that there is progress being made and times when I look at myself and don’t know how I turned out this way, what a waste I have made of my life and my time and it doesn’t seem like it is going to change. I wonder why I can’t be satisfied with who I am.
It has been a struggle to get the Dearinth mowed and it isn’t quite done yet. When I first went out last week I started out strong and then realized that the paths were so overgrown that I couldn’t tell where to mow for much of them. So we have been remeasuring a couple of paths at a time, marking them with orange flags, then I mow them. We remeasure the next couple of paths and I mow them the next day. I have a couple of paths yet to go plus the finishing touches on the bodies of the God and Goddess in the middle. Yesterday though it was such an effort to mow the couple of paths (woody weeds shoulder high from last year’s growth making it an incredible chore) that today I seem to have still been tired, a little down, and motivationless. So I spent the day reading the last of Sharon Green's Blendings Series.
Sometimes the effort just doesn’t seem worth it.
Copyright © 2005 Kyril Oakwind