Scattering Day
Sunday June 5, 2005
In the morning we found about 4 trees down in the area near the house and orchard.
BelSummer is over and we are so tired. It has been an interesting experience. Somehow I went into the festival already very tired and that made a difference in my ability to enjoy it. Next year I hope to enjoy it a bit more though, as I am trying to get someone else to do the main ritual.
I find that I am in a strange state at the moment. There is a part of me that is sad and contemplative. I don’t know what I should be doing with my life. In the 7 Souls ritual I spoke to the Will/Fire Soul about my direction and my lack of energy. But the message I got was that perhaps I needed to rest. I have been in this state of limbo almost for several years now and while at times I feel there has been progress, most of the time I feel adrift and unsatisfied. My needs don’t seem to be getting met but I don’t really know what to do to fill them. I am not the person that I once was and I don’t really know who I am now.
Tuesday I fly out to L.A. Since Faol fractured his arm last week he will
be off work for several weeks. I seem to feel both apprehensive and ready
to enjoy being with him.
Copyright © 2005 Kyril Oakwind