Kyril's Journal -- july 11, 2005

Vision Quest: Day 1

Monday July 11, 2005

I have to laugh. This is certainly a modern take on it. Tom and I have spent several hours getting me set up in the orchard area. The tent, air mattress, sleeping bag for padding, flannel sheets, a couple of thin blankets, a chair in the tent, a small camping stool for a table, cooler with juice, lantern, torches for outside, citronella candles, flashlight for walking after dark, and my computer for the writing exercises that I plan to do each, although I am writing my journal by hand it would restrict my creative writing too much.

Finally set up and I realized I didn’t have a pot to piss in so back to the house. Then I realized I had no cup to drink the juice from so back to the house again. Now I realize that I have no paper towels if I spill the juice or things to clean my hands. LOL I think it can wait until I actually need it or at least later.

This is a far cry from going out in the woods with a blanket and perhaps water to cry for a vision. Yet I have hope that it will serve my need nonetheless. And so I begin.

The afternoon went quickly. I listened to the songbirds and the crows, a study in contrasts. And the peaceful breath – count of 7 on the inhale and 7 again on the exhale – flowed easily while I listened to the Holosync cd. So very relaxed.

The homework from the Life Principles course I bought was much less pleasant. Basically it was so overwhelming that I didn’t know where to begin. It felt and feels like an impossible task so I didn’t do it and therefore didn’t do the rest of the lessons. #1 seems like a course all in itself. It led to a lot of the negatives, the areas I feel down about, or blocked, or frustrated, or all the things, I can’t want because I can’t have them and because I can’t have them and still have my current relationships, or so I believe and beliefs were the point of the exercise.

I also did the first writing exercise, no great shakes, but the point was just to get writing. There is one for almost every day of my quest.

Tom and I went in the hot tub and talked about the results of the beliefs homework. He may come out later and sit aournd the campfire with me. He has been amazingly supportive of so much that I do. I don’t think I have appreciated him enough. There are things he isn’t able to or really chooses not to do and those are what I have focused on in the past. I hope I will remember to focus more on the gifts of his love and support in the future.