Wonderful Morning
Thursday December 1, 2005
We cuddled for a bit then got up and had tea and breakfast while Faol took a bath. We spent much of the rest of the morning back in bed. It was a wonderful relaxed morning in that we had the leisure to spend time making love instead of rushing to make Dr. appointments, or to run errands. Instead we took the morning to be with each other. It was very lovely. I made us “Mcmuffin” like lunch with veggie sausage, egg, cheese, and biscuits.
While I was cooking he called a girlfriend to check in and see how things were going there with the new baby and mother being home with her all the time, but I wasn’t pleased that it ended our time together. I would have liked to have eaten lunch with him as part of our leisurely morning. This was the first time in a week that we spent time just together, not focused on getting work/errands accomplished but really focused on each other. As it was they were on the phone up until the time that he had to leave. I wanted to suggest that they get off the phone so that he and I could have 15 minutes before he had to leave but they were processing again when I went into the bathroom. It wasn’t that it was so important but I ended up feeling like she was once again needing attention from him in the middle of our interaction, and I was getting set aside so she could get it. I do understand that I am here interacting with him and she is back home and only getting to talk with him a couple of times a week. She is also dealing with the new baby in the household and her housemate’s constant presence in the house while recovering and caring for the baby. I get that she needed him. But I also notice that one of his many female friends are frequently needing to talk with him because they are having an emotional situation. And because I am not emotionally upset I am supposed to step aside, be understanding, and let the other person take up Faol’s time and attention regardless of what we were doing when they called.
He said they had to get off the phone then she asked him a question that would lead into more discussion, which is something that I notice she does with me when I say I need to get off as well. She may not intend it that way at all but it feels a bit manipulative in that she wants to talk more or process more and she draws the other into further conversation by asking a question that will take some response and discussion or cause the other to have to cut her off. I understand that she has needs for communication but her needs for communication often seem to trump some one else’s needs to end communication for the time being.
After Faol left I called my mom. It is my father’s birthday today and I wanted to make sure that she was ok. It has been a couple of years now since he died. I also talked for some time with Tom. He has been putting his resume online, interviewing with the headhunters, and has an interview scheduled for tomorrow but doesn’t know whether it is with the end client or a middleperson. Otherwise I didn’t get as much done today: two loads of dishes, filled the cornmeal container, made biscuits, spent several hours entering receipts, and watered the lawn. Joyful called while I was eating dinner. I was able to remain mostly detached and the conversation went ok.
I am watching Steel Dawn
with Patrick Swaze in a post-apocalyptic world of some sort. I don’t
think it is a very good movie but it was somewhat entertaining. Watching him
move is always a pleasure.
Copyright © 2005 Kyril Oakwind