I am tired this morning having stayed up quite late visiting friends on Saturday. And today I plan on getting packed up for Grow Closer. We don't leave til early Thursday morning but I won't have much time between now and then what with work. I don't know how people work full time and get anything else done:) I have enough problem working part-time and getting something else done.
On one of the lists I am on, the url for a "Goddess that rules us" test was given. Don't you just love all these pop-psychology web tests - a few multiple choice questions to determine a great deal about a person?
Anyway, I took it and came up with 33% Persephone and Athena, 16% Artemis, 8% Aphrodite, 8% Hestia, and 0% Demeter and Hera. I was surprised about the Persephone percent, although I shouldn't have been. Years ago I read the Goddesses in Everywoman and felt the most affinity with Persephone. However, I thought that through the years I might have expanded as I matured (mentally, not just physically:) Actually to reach the paragraphs on what these Goddesses relate to I had to retake the test and I changed one answer. Athena moved up to 41%, something I confess to being much more comfortable with.
Persephone -"you have most likely experienced great loss in your life -- the loss of your health, or emotional or physical security, the betrayal of a friend or lover, the loss of a child, your own divorce or that of your parents. This experience has forced you to face the dark, unenlightened side of yourself (the side that blames other people or circumstances for your own suffering) and transform yourself into a stronger, more independent, more accepting and more loving person. It may have also led you down a spiritual path, and moved you to place great emphasis on inner calm and on close connections with friends. You are capable of embracing, integrating and accepting difficult experiences. Because of that skill, you offer others the gift of empathy -- you know where they are or have been."
I have experienced the loss through separation from very close personal friends. We reached a point where our basic life philosophies, what we believed was important in relationships and how we thought family behaved was different enough that we couldn't maintain the relationship. It took me 4 years to reach the acceptance part of grief. It hurt more than I can say yet because of it I altered my path and joined CAW. So despite the pain I wouldn't change it. I have met many wonderful people, have a few waterbrothers in my life that bring me pleasure and friendship, have tried new things, and continued to grow in ways that I don't think I would have without the encouragement I have received from this church.
Athena - "you are bright-eyed, shrewd, resourceful and inventive. With friends, you are the wise counselor -- always ready with an empowering message. You believe strongly that women can accomplish anything men can. No wonder you put so much time into your career. Athena women tend to be ruled by their head, not by their heart. You carefully guard your intimate side, protecting your emotions and vulnerability. If you want to awaken your unexpressed womanliness, you'll have to use the same passion you apply to your intellectual achievements. It's important that you work to integrate your strong masculine side with your feminine side -- bringing together your strength with your vulnerability, your creativity with caring, your intelligence with imagination. Otherwise, you risk coming off as unaffectionate and self-righteous. Take lessons from the goddesses Hestia and Aphrodite to do this."
I am more comfortable approaching life from an intellectual perspective, rational, logical (often), and quite practical. And since I have returned to school to complete my BA and to hopefully get a Master's degree in psychotherapy this aspect of me has been strengthened by the need to focus on that area of my life to achieve my goals. I haven't had the time to give to relationships or to the Aphrodite side of my life and don't really expect to for several more years.
Artemis - "your independent spirit belongs to no one but yourself. Your body is vibrant, your attitude robust and your manner vigorous and alive. You are driven by physical rather than mental energy. You feel complete without a man in your life and would never compromise your essential nature for a romantic partner. You are skilled at establishing personal boundaries and enter into relationships on your own terms -- in short, you can take care of yourself. This attitude may at times put men off. But if what you're looking for is an equal, loving relationship, take some tips from Hera."
This is another Goddess I would have said is not very strong in me. While I am able to work independently and often prefer to "do it myself" I don't see myself as very independent and self-sufficient. I prefer to work with others when possible. But I have learned to maintain fairly good boundaries and am often considered by others to be very reserved, or so I have been told.
Aphrodite - "your femininity and passionate spirit are the controlling forces in your life. You tend to be charismatic and self-assured, comfortable with your body and unrestrained sexually. Men are drawn to you like bees to flowers, which satisfies your erotic nature. However, you tend not to form permanent attachments with lovers because you value your sexual freedom, which may leave you feeling lonely and even depleted once a relationship ends. To find and form a more lasting relationship, you need to add more of the goddess Hera to your life."
I don't seem to have much of this Goddess in my life, that is for sure. And I am certainly not charismatic (darn). I do form long lasting relationships, married 30 years, having the same lover for over 4 years, and friendships that have lasted nearly 10 years so far. But in that same time period I have had other lovers that came and went (so to speak:)
Hestia - "you understand the value of having your own sacred place, whether it's an actual room or simply a time of day when you free your mind of busy thoughts and experience peace of mind. There's no doubt this place is at home -- where you feel the most joy. Home is your sanctuary. You are at home with yourself wherever you are, though, and no matter whom you are with. You know that the meaning of your life springs from your spiritual center. This brings you a great sense of security. You do not crave attention or material possessions; you nurture your friends and family with your unconditional love."
Actually I think this fits me better than some of the others. It is not that I am such a home body or house wife but I do consider my land to be my sanctuary and I like being here. It gives me a comfortable and safe haven from which to venture out into the world and to return to for recuperation before the next trip.
Demeter - "you are a nurturer and caretaker. You have a generous heart and enjoy extending your love to others. You are motivated by the most powerful of instincts -- to give life -- and selflessly devote yourself to the life you create. You feel compelled to care for all those around you, even if they are not your own children. In short, you feel the need to be all things to all people and, therefore, your own needs sometimes go unmet. You must learn to say no, and apply Artemis's sense of boundaries and Aphrodite's ability to put herself first. That way, you can give to others from an overflowing rather than a half-full cup."
I have already done this as a mother. It is not that I am any less of a mother now but my children are grown and I have spend 20 odd years nurturing and giving of my energy to others. I feel the need to nurture myself now - to, as it says above, "apply Artemis' sense of boundaries and Aphrodite's ability to put herself first." So I concentrate on my studies and classes and work towards becoming a priestess in CAW.
Hera - "you tend to find fulfillment in relationships and look on marriage as a permanent union. In marriage, you feel no sense of frustration or resentment, because you are an equal partner with your spouse. You are confident and have no trouble asserting your authority in and out of the relationships. You seek men who are self-confident and successful, because you are comfortable with the concept that you can be fulfilled through him (and him through you). As long as your partner honors the marriage as much as you do and appreciates you, you will be happy. If he doesn't, you must concentrate on your own growth and discover an identity independent of him."
Although I scored 0 on this quality I have a 30 year marriage that means a great deal to me. In that, I express the above qualities but it isnt the focus of my life right now. It is the background that allows me to go out and do the other things in my life.
Anyone else interested in going and taking this test can find it at IVillage
Copyright © 2000 Kyril Oakwind