What a lovely morning I have had! I woke Tom up (he doesn't do it easily on his own) so that he could bring me tea and toast in bed. He is very sweet. We sat in bed and ate and talked. Not a deep serious talk but about his work the day before and what I was doing at work, and the deer that came up by the deck yesterday morning before I left for work, the little daily things that we haven't spent much time sharing. We have been more caught up in what needs to get done when, scheduling, and lists. This was very relaxing. Then we made love and it was very good! Afterwards I took a cool shower as it is already quite warm. When I got out I just didn't feel like getting dressed. There is a cool breeze coming into the house and it feels so nice on my body. I went to Tom and told him that he could touch my nice clean body. Bodies always feel so silky, soft, and smooth when first out of the shower. I love the way they feel then. (not that I don't like the feel other times too:)
I really am in a great mood right now. I don't think I have felt this good in a long time. This is how I used to feel when I would wake up in the morning - alive, ready to do whatever. When did I lose that I wonder? And how do I get it back on a regular basis? Because this is definitely how I was meant to be. This is what feels most natural to me.
I wrote the above and then went to do my exercises which consist of what I think of as Tai Chi warm ups and today they were ecstasy, the shift of muscle, the feel of weight increasing on one leg as it slowly bends, weight decreasing in the other, interplay of yin and yang, the slow stretch as I turn, the way my fingers look as I watch them move. I felt so good that I decided to start rowing again. I have a stationary rower, which I used to use a great deal but because of the chronic tendonitis in my wrists have largely given up. Today I started it again - not long, only 4 min. and I will have to stay at that level for a week before cautiously increasing the time by one minute at a time to be sure it is not aggravating the tendonitis. It is one of the few exercises that really bends my knees fully and puts them through the range of motion, which relieves most of the pain of arthritis. Goddess, it felt good! I noticed as I began to tire my mood decreasing and I thought I am not going to let that happen and just like that I smiled and felt good again.
Then I went and cleaned the shower stall. It was unbelievably disgusting and gross. We have a rubbermaid cattle-watering tank that we cut down to fit the shower stall so that we could take baths when we wanted to. I don't take that out when I shower so I never actually stand on the bottom of the shower stall, which is, of course, why I could let it get that disgusting. But if cleaning that didn't bring me down you must realize how high I am. And it must be all due to natural body chemistry because I haven't taken anything (other than Vitamins and herbs for general health and none of them are new or different than I have been taking for some time.)
Now, I am writing this and having lunch, roasted garlic hummus on Ritz crackers and Kalamata olive spread on Ritz, yum! Sigh... I am blissfully happy.
Copyright © 2000 Kyril Oakwind