I was hoping that the incredibly wonderful mood of yesterday would bleed over into today but no such luck. I think it had something to do with how I spent the night or perhaps the night was a result of the wonderful day. I woke up in the middle of the night from a dream where I was searching for 'outside'. I kept trying to get out and every time I would think I had managed it I would just be in a bigger room. I would look up and see blue sky and clouds and know that I had made it but a minute later I would see that there was a roof way up high, and it was more like an arena size room. I went back to sleep and dreamed that I was looking for clear skies and kept trying to find the sky. I climbed up a pipe like thing that reminds me of TV shows with suspension bridge chases up the rigging. It was red I think. And I could see sky with white fluffy clouds above but as I climbed it got roofed over. I woke having never been able to reach the sky.
These dreams reminds me of a series of dreams I had years and years ago where I was always trying to find the forest (we were still looking for land that we could afford back then). In those dreams I would find trees that would turn out to be a park in a city, or trees in a large indoor garden, or a narrow band of trees between cities, or a narrow band of trees between huge clearcut patches (one of the worst of the dreams). I don't have those anymore because we live in a forest and I can walk through it during the day. At night in my dreams I know it is there.
Last night's dreams also reminds me of some trying to fly dreams where I would try to fly only to have electric wires stretch across the sky above me so that I could never get up into the air for any distance. Those were very frustrating dreams and I am glad that I haven't had those in years either.
So why these dreams of trying to get outside, to find clear skies and not succeeding? And why have them after such a glorious day? Maybe they are dreams of escape. Perhaps I am trying to get outside of myself, escape the stress and busyness I have talked about before? Perhaps I am trying to find that natural high (clear skies) that I experienced yesterday and not succeeding?
Copyright © 2000 Kyril Oakwind