I had a good weekend. Friday my new laptop finally came so we spend most of the day transferring over programs and data files from my old one. I always find that tiring. But it was exciting to finally have it arrive. I guess it is a matter of that instant gratification we seem to desire so much in the USA that I ordered it on Sunday via the web, tracked it via the web over the week but when it wasn't here by Wednesday I was getting antsy. Of course it showed up when I should have been getting ready for the activities on the weekendinstead of playing. I am finding it a little hard to get used to though. It has a 15" screen instead of 12" and the keyboard is a little different too. However, I am sure with time I will adjust to having a screen large enough to actually see a full web page or have print large enough to read easily.
Saturday we had a Dearinth workparty and only one person showed up. We got a bit done (we cleaned out the Goddess' Yoni, weeded it, planted some Blood red Sedum, and weeded the mulched paths.) but it is the same person who came last time and I feel like I am taking advantage of him by having these. If more people came I wouldn't feel that way, which is odd I suppose. I had hoped to get some yellow birdsfoot trefoil planted in the God half (it has golden flowers that are very bright and sunny) but the ground was too hard for our small rototiller to go through so we will have to try and catch it after the next rain when the ground is softer. Afterwards was the Grok healing focus group and I felt that went well but was perhaps still a bit too basic. I feel like we should get into something more meaty but at the same time feel like we should practice the basics of sensing and moving energy. I liked the ritual we did later. Tom thought there was more participation from the participants and some good conversations got going as well. There seems to be a minimum number necessary for that to happen but if there are too many then it doesn't happen spontaneously either.
One thing that was interesting to me was that after we discussed the ritual that I came up with (see June 11th , Time Warp entry for description) and I listened to others reactions, suggestions, and changes, I realized how influenced I had been by other people. When I told Jack about it he saw it as something that could be presented as two rituals, one at Spring and one at Fall as two parts of a mythic cycle. So I began to see it that way rather than as the single ritual and myth that originally came to me. Then Julie felt that the myth as I described it always had the lovers kind of passing in the night and never really getting together. She said that she was interested in a myth of merging. Ken suggested a change to deal with that, which while an interesting concept, was an entirely different myth cycle, a kind of variation on the Descent Myth where at Fall the Goddess goes with the God to the Underworld and in the Spring he returns with her so that they are always together in their different aspects.
Later thinking about it I realized that I think the simple "happy endings" are a little too pat. Sometimes hard things do happen. Sacrifice is a necessary part of life. If things never die there is no room for things to be born, whether that is new lives or new directions in life, or new parts of ourselves. And sometimes things don't turn out the way we think would be best. And cycles are a natural part of the world. I don't think they are a bad thing. I realize that this may sound a little cryptic as I haven't actually described the myth cycle but once I get the ritual finished I will describe it more fully. Now I think it makes more sense to just do the ritual and see how it feels, how does it work in practice, and then worry about what changes might be worth trying.
Copyright © 2000 Kyril Oakwind