What a strange day! First I am greeted by one of those emails that cause distress and trigger a need to respond right away. Then I spent the morning processing the email and all my interactions with the individual involved ad nauseum mentally, and with my partner. Every time I started doing something else I would find my mind sneaking back to it. So we are going to do some magick (Haven't decided exactly what yet) to help me learn whatever lesson I am supposed to be or could be from these interactions. I get really obsessive about analyzing it all, turning it all over - what could I have done differently, am I really doing, or being, or like what this person says I am. Could their skewed view of me really have grains of truth? (well, skewed in my opinion) I ask my friends to be honest with me and discuss the aspects brought up but no one seems to see the same faults as this one person. They are quite willing to tell me other faults though:)
Then having just gotten back in touch by email with someone I haven't heard from in a couple of years, we found each other today on ICQ and have spent quite a bit of time chatting. It has been quite wonderful to hear from her again. (Yes, Tess I am addressing you:) So from the depths I lifted to, if not quite ecstasy, certainly having a lovely time.
After lunch I went out to saw through some old aluminum tent poles so we can use them for stakes to hold up the board, which will prevent the gravel from slowly sliding down hill and out from under our hot tub. Tom and I are going out later this afternoon to level the board, stake it, and then I can finish hauling all the gravel, wheelbarrow by wheelbarrow. I find that I can only do about 4-5 wheelbarrow loads at a time without hurting and feeling rather tired. So I am resigned to doing things in stages, bit by bit. But the pad will, I hope, really be set up by this afternoon.
Copyright © 2000 Kyril Oakwind