I was planning on going to visit friends today but kind of had a meltdown. I woke up about an hour early with shooting pain in my right forearm. Most likely it is due to my chronic tendonitis. By the time I got up I was feeling depressed. The day was gray and windy, very windy. The weather report called for a wind advisory and travel advisory. I started to worry about making the drive with possible 50 mile an hour gusts. I thought about getting there tired and stressed out from the trip (only an hour and a half). Driving is one of the difficult areas for me, which sometimes seems to border on a mild phobia. I cancelled the visit to my friends. By the time Tom got up I was well into my meltdown. We ended up talking all morning about what I want to do with my life, about this transitional period of my life (perimenopause, turned down for Grad school, etc., and rethinking all the areas of my life.
Later I talked with Kim about perimenopause and transitions in relationships. She had some good advice. And I felt better after talking to her. Most of the day ended up being spent processing. Jack called and we processed. Tom and I processed my processing with Kim and Jack. Yikes!!!
In a way I think this is related to my starting my Priestess training program. Working in this way has triggered a re-evaluation of my life, a kind of psychological/spiritual retooling.
Copyright © 2001 Kyril Oakwind