We seem to be coming down with colds. Tom has a sore throat and is pretty draggy and I am sneezing. My nose was running this morning. I haven't been able to get up any motivation to do anything much today, not my exercises, not the cleaning, not the last minute present wrapping. We did go out to pick up a few last minute items for Corey. We don't have much money this year with the job situation of the last 6 mos. or so. I wish we had the money to give the children the kinds of things that they would really like but that is just the way it is this year. It could be a lot worse but I am hoping it won't be.
One thing that I did manage to do was to pack a box in the children's room. It is an unpleasant task with all the dust and dirt in everything. Tom and I argued about it and how we were supposed to do it. I could only stand handling their papers, etc. long enough to pack one box and throw away one full bag of general crap. Strangely enough though that did actually make a visible dent in the mess. If I can just get a couple more boxes packed this week before our guests come on Sunday there might be enough room to put an air mattress on the floor in there if they want.
I also got the bread going in the bread machine and caught up on the email from being gone for several days. F. called. It was really good to hear from him as I had not talked with him for two days, and the previous day had been very brief as we were at FireHeart, and he was ill. This last week I have not been feeling as intense about him as I was previously. I don't know if the initial flush of desire and emotion have passed and I have settled down into just loving him, or whether this is just a blip in my feelings for him. It takes a high level of contact for me to maintain strong feelings of intimacy and connection. We have had much less contact in the last three weeks than we have had since we met 5 months ago. I don't know if this is a factor or whether seeing him Sunday will bring all those feelings rushing back. It is still important to me to spend the time in LA with him. I do love living with him and sharing our lives for that time.
Copyright © 2001 Kyril Oakwind