After a night on a real bed, which will be the last one for over a week, we drove the remaining hour to Brushwood. First we registered for Sirius Rising, which is a festival prior to Starwood. Then we drove back to find the CAWmunity site and began to lug our camping equipment. I saw Jack and he came to try and help me find a site. He took a mattock and dug up and leveled the small hill, broke up the roots, and even raked it level. It was great. Then he helped me put my tent up. What a sweetie!
I took a tin star, duct-taped a glow-in-the-dark star to it, and attached it to a spring. It tickled my funny bone as a symbol for StarSpring Nest. I hung it from a line by the tent but wasn't as satisfied with it as I thought I would be. For one it didn't really glow in the dark much, and for two I couldn't get it to be in the right place near the tent. Oh well.
I feel strange and unsettled now like I should be doing something, going somewhere, something. I called Tom to let him know that we were there and forgot to turn the phone off for about an hour. The charge only lasts about 12 hours, I think, so I better remember it.
Phoenix and I walked around trying to get a feel for where some of the workshops were being held. It was a bit confusing. We found the Runestead where a workshop was about to start, one we weren't going to. The person seemed familiar. I thought it might be Kenny Klein but it had been a long time since I had seen him and he didn't have a shaved head when I knew him. He told us that the workshop locations and names would change for Starwood. That seems rather confusing to me but at least we got some idea. Then we found the site that Phoenix was looking for and I decided to go to the Ritual of Release with her. When we arrived the facilitator rattled us into the circle area, rattled to cleanse our auras, and then gave a very quick overview of what was happening. There was a gourd in the center and people were putting pebbles representing something that they wanted to release from their lives. Some spoke of what they were releasing and some did not. I chose to try and release the grief at the loss of a 20-year friendship and magickal relationship that broke up almost 10 years ago but still affects me now. She pointed out that there might be fear of forming new relationships and she was right. I put that into the gourd as well. It was a simple ritual but a good one, I thought. Then she gave us each a feather in token of our bravery in working the release. I felt better.
Later I went to a Maze Walking workshop (an ancient way of traveling without going very far) by Gretchen Schork. An older plump woman with a Microsoft cap on and orange-patterned loose pants sat on the north stage and talked in a dynamic manner. She was clearly enthusiastic about her topic and spoke of having been designing and sewing mazes for over 20 years. By maze she really means something with one continuous path, a labyrinth, and not a maze with multiple paths and dead ends. With a labyrinth one can't get lost. One just follows the path to the center and back out, again. I arrived a few minutes late but she was already talking about how magick is accomplished through the 4 worlds: physical, emotional or astral, creative or realm of the pantheons of Gods, and spiritual or realm of Deity. She also said that humans were designed to work on just those 4 worlds, which is something I really disagree with. She also talked about being a beacon of light to others as magicians.
I found the labyrinths that she brought to be quite interesting. They were generally small, perhaps 10'x10' with paths about 8" wide. But this makes them portable. They were sewn with loops that could be staked down for walking. She showed us 7 mazes that she had done to incorporate the planetary energies in a magickal working. She had taken the glyphs and then outlined them to create a path to walk. Walking deosil increased the planetary energies in one's life while walking widdershins decreased the energies. Walking any pattern, she said, built the energy into oneself. She felt that there should be about 6-9 months between walkings. That was to allow the magick and the energies to be integrated.
Gretchen also talked about finding one's purpose in life, and how it is as if everything comes together and you know exactly what you are here to do. I found it depressing. At 50, I have had a number of moments in my life where it seemed I knew what I was here for but none of them now seem to be it. The one thing that has been constant is that I have believed I was "called" to be a priestess but that doesn't produce an income and I don't know how to manage to do both. In the Fall I will have to get a job, hopefully part-time only at first, but that will take time away from working on my priestess skills and as a priestess.
I was talking with Jack and someone else and mentioned that I expected to be a CAW priestess in about a year, if all went well. Jack said longer than a year. It felt funny at the time but as I think about it now I wonder what that was about. He doesn't think I'm ready? Some other clergy member has said something about it? Anyway it didn't feel good. I am going to have to talk to him about that. I know that what happens with other clergy is probably confidential but I am going to ask him anyway and he can decide how much and what he can tell me for himself.
Lyn and Kira arrived and I followed them about and watched them put up their tent. I was only one of a crowd though:) They are such dolls, who could resist? And why resist? Charm, beauty, and intelligence in such kind packages. Their strength is particularly attractive to me and to the other fans, who stood around watching, or got in there and helped.
Copyright © 2001 Kyril Oakwind