In the morning it was hard to get up and start the day. He had things he needed to do so got up and got dressed but it seemed hard for him to pull himself away from me and I didn't really want to part from him either.
I went to take a shower, talked with others around CAWmunity, and spent a relaxed day. I had intended to go to several workshops but just couldn't get the motivation to do so.
Later I noticed that he had left his cup in my tent so debated whether I should let him come looking for it or not but I decided I would rather he came back because he wanted to be with me than go looking for his cup and end up with me. When I came upon him, he was in an intense conversation with several others and I hesitated to interrupt. I gave him his cup and said I had not intended to stay only return the cup but it was very clear to me that he wanted me there so I stayed. I felt that he needed my support and the connection between us was so clear to me then. After awhile he had had enough of the conversation and excused himself. He put his hand out to me. I can't explain the physical sensation that went through me at that moment. I put my hand in his and felt such a distinct sense of belonging with him, and a strong sense of concern for his feelings.
I didn't write this down right away and I find that my sense of what happened when is quite skewed. I did go to Ronn and Raven's "Venus on the Full Shell" ritual, which was quite interesting. (See the entry for 7/24 for a description of it.)
In the evening he and I wandered down to get something to drink and a bite to eat. We walked around and checked out the bonfire but it wasn't ready to light. We went back to CAWmunity and talked for a while at one of the campsites. Eventually we went back down and watched the procession of people and giant puppets, the performers as they danced with torches before lighting the huge bonfire. We cuddled for a time under his cloak. We met up with other CAW folks and spoke. I liked his casual protection of me. Once he put his arm out to redirect some people so that they wouldn't bump into me and when I was a little chilly he took off his cloak and wrapped it around me. I find that I am quite susceptible to such gestures of caring. At least from him anyway.
Later we went back to my tent and cuddled but he was very tired and drifting in and out so we slept.
Copyright © 2001 Kyril Oakwind