I woke tired again. It seems to be the tone of the weekend. Go to bed tired. Wake up tired but lots of things in between. I was moving very slowly. The days when these events energize me seem to have passed. I used to really recharge, get high on all the new people, the rituals, the energy. Now I don't seem to really connect in the same way. I know I hang back, appear reserved, am reserved but mostly I am not sure of my welcome and I don't want to intrude, even with those who have otherwise indicated that they are fine with my presence. When did I become so cautious, so unwilling to risk intruding on others? I seem to carry about a lot of sorrow that I just can't seem to let go of. Or perhaps the ritual last night brought some of that up.
Jessica is walking down the path looking for kitchen help for breakfast. I must be a glutton for punishment as the saying goes. But it needs to be done and it is something that I can do to help. The meals have been excellent. There is a whole outdoor kitchen set up here with stove, water heater, 2 sink unit with running water, work space and tables, coolers and tent for storage. Eric and Kat, the kitchen Gods, put out incredible effort to feed everyone the two meals a day.
Today there were potatoes, onions, artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes, and cheese to cut up. There was also some kind of sausage. The potatoes were cooked (after the huge pot of water finally came to a boil) then fried in the artichoke oil along with the onions and artichoke hearts. It was very tasty. There was also a huge bowl of scrambled eggs with monterrey jack cheese. Breakfast was scheduled for 9 am to allow plenty of time to get ready for the noon ritual but it wasn't ready til 11:00 or 11:30 am. I have to admit that my own inclination would be a light breakfast, possibly fruit, melon, or cereal with yogurt, something quick and easy to fix.
I ate breakfast with a new friend then we went back to my tent to get it packed up to leave after the ritual. My huge duffle bag got repacked, the air mattress deflated, etc. While taking a brief break Beltane magick happened and we celebrated Beltane in the traditional way. What a delight! I felt pretty grounded and connected after that:)
The women's and men's mysteries began after that. I found the women's rite to be a good bonding experience. It was bawdy and juicy, quiet and heartfelt. It had a space for each woman to share her experience with the land, with Annwfn. When we felt complete with it we shouted out to let the men know we were ready. While waiting for them to process with the huge Maypole we sang a song about opening. "We are opening up in sweet surrender to the luminous lovelight of the Sun. We are opening. We are opening. We are opening." We danced with each other and women moved about changing partners. There was a sweet blissful and arousing feel to it.
When the men arrived at the Yoni gate (arch decorated with many flowers) several women went to greet them carrying the three-tiered flowered wreath with ribbons attached. This went over the top of the Maypole that was topped with the huge carved phallus, somewhat like a condom. The rest of us lined up in two rows creating a vaginal channel. Suddenly a young boy, Tristan, darted through the gate to greet his Grandmother. We all laughed. Behind him came the Maypole carried on the shoulders of the men. Women reached out to caress the sacred phallus as it went by. The men gently slid the pole into the yoni hole provided by the women and erected it. Water had been poured into the hole making it juicy and wet.
Then there was a wait while the ribbons were carefully arranged in the right order and handed out to the participants. Red, blue, and greenish gold ribbons alternated. They looked good together. Finally everything was ready to go I thought. Then came the directions. I think it was Artemisia who gave the elaborate directions as to how to do the dance - it involved sunwise (deosil) and earthwise (widdershin), each set of two ribbons facing each other, one lifted ribbon and one lowered ribbon per set, taking two steps forward, then reversing the lifted and lowered ribbons and taking two more steps forward, then doing it again.
I sat out during the dance because by then my knees were protesting all the walking, standing, going up and down the hill to pee, etc. Jeanne Koelle, the publisher of Green Egg, sat out with me. What a woman she is! She said something about having more schlepping to do yet that afternoon as her reason to sit out but it seemed to me that she was just being sweet and accompanying me.
Afterwards was the bread and watersharing. Elizabeth had made these incredible breads in the shape of a yoni and a lingam. A cup of wine also went around along with the water. Then came a place for honoring people. Oberon was given a gold watch for his retirement from the priesthood. (grin) Others who had worked on the festival like Tina and Orion for Walpurgisnact rite, Wynter, Dan, and Sherri for the Beltane ritual, Eric and Kat for kitchen coordinating, Jezebel and Jessica for festival coordinating, etc. (I don't really remember everyone who was honored) were also honored and given a Sacajewa medallion on a Beltane ribbon that had been hand worked by Morning Glory.
Immediately after the ritual Pierce packed up the tent I had been using and schlepped our stuff with the help of others to the first staging area. From there it was all tossed into a truck. There was room in the truck for 4 of us, and Orion and I both rode down as neither of us were walking too well at that point. Some how we missed a couple of items when packing up the truck so Tina and I waited with the shuttle to Calpella while Pierce headed back up to retrieve them. Then Mike drove us to Calpella.
Orion met us in Calpella to look at Tina's car (he worked as a mechanic and ran a repair place at one time - a man of many talents) as there had been some problem with it on the way up. He couldn't really find anything then so we headed on home.
We were all quite tired on the way back. We talked for a long time but I kind of ran out of steam. Pierce kept working at keeping Tina, our driver, awake. Then as we slowed down on an exit ramp the car died. Tina pulled off and we sat for a while then started it again. Luckily it started right up but it continued to act strange. But we made it back fine. We did decide not to stop for dinner though so arrived back at their house tired and hungry. After eating, Orion let me take the first shower (there are two showers) but considering how quick he is and I am not, probably should have taken it first. But he is quite considerate or at least he was while I was there:) And then in to the wonderful hot tub before collapsing in bed.
Copyright © 2001 Kyril Oakwind