I am home again (came in on Wednesday night). I have been depressed and not adjusting well to being home again though Tom and I had a chance this morning to really reconnect. Then we went out and worked on the storage room, which is still not completely done but is usable. Tom finished washing the floor; I washed the table and shelf, moved boxes, brought in one of the pallets (Tom moved the other) to keep the boxes off the cement floor where they would get damp from wicking moisture, and set up some of the boxes. Tomorrow I can move the boxes out of the kid's room. I am anxious to get back to cleaning out the spare bedroom so it can be used for guests. At the moment F. is planning on coming out for two days after Yule with R. and M. and it would be nice to have some place for them to sleep, although there is only a twin bed in the room now.
The other thing that I am dealing with now is the problems with my hands. For some time now I have been losing sensation in the middle finger of my left hand, and the muscle pad of my thumb is atrophying somewhat. I have lost strength in that hand. I don't know whether this is really carpal tunnel syndrome or not but we don't have insurance so there isn't much I can do about it medically. I was telling Tom that I feel crippled or handicapped when I realized that really isn't the way I feel. I feel weak. As a child I was often told that I shouldn't strain or do too much, that I was small and not very strong. As an adult I found myself pushing to do more despite still being small, to carry and lift, and work at a level that was hard for me to do rather than let those old tapes of being too small and weak to be of any help get me down. Now suddenly I can't do very much with my hands. I have to be careful not to cut up too many veggies, can't open jars, do very much cleaning at one time, etc. And I feel weak and incapable. I really hate this. I am going to try taking anti-inflammatories, not use my hand much, do the exercises that I know for this problem, and wear my brace at night for the next couple weeks in the hope that it will improve the condition.
I never did connect with my relatives to visit while I was in CA. The last week seems to have gone very quickly though I am not sure where the time went. We saw Harry Potter on Thanksgiving Day. It was a very fun movie, and though it has nothing to do with being Pagan or Wiccan, I still enjoyed the broom riding, owl mail delivery, cloak of invisibility, and three headed huge dog named Fluffy. There was even a baby dragon. It was a tale of friendship and getting through the trials and tribulations of being away at school along with good vs evil. I think it is well worth the time.
We also did a candleburning together. It was interesting working with him magickally, really for the first time, though we have been in rituals together. We charged the candles and talisman together, and I felt that our energies blended nicely. Later we did a spell that he had written and he led. I just added my energies to his working. It was interesting to see the differing ways that we work but I felt there was a similarity in core energy. I think we both tend to work both with deity and with the natural magicks.
The other interesting thing that happened while I was in CA was that F. did manage to arrange an astrological consultation with someone that he knows. So we went to visit her and I made some money. She is also interested in having me do monthly transits for her and give her a heads up about the influences she will be experiencing. This is the first money I have made from astrology since I decided that I wanted to develop an astrology business again. I appreciate F.'s optimism and faith in me, and his willingness to encourage others to utilize my business.
Copyright © 2001 Kyril Oakwind