This week has gone by rather oddly. We seem to have had quite a let down after Pagan Pride day and have not accomplished much. I have Nest to Nest almost ready to go to the printer but should have gotten it done and to the printer. Now Tom will end up taking it, folding, taping, labeling, and mailing it in my absence and it isn't his job to do it (luckily he loves me though).
F's partner has returned after several months of absence and our hour long conversations have completely stopped. I went from 7-10 hrs of conversation and contact with him per week to 1/2 an hour this week and that in three separate conversations. In the first part of the week I was in serious withdrawal and it definitely affected my mood and energy level but now I am adjusting to it and I find that I don't think of him as much as before. I need a fairly high level of contact and when I don't get it I begin to feel more distant from the relationship. It isn't that I don't continue to love the person but the intensity of the relationship drops off. I knew that was likely to happen with a long distance relationship but didn't expect such a sudden drop off in contact. Tuesday I fly out to visit him for two weeks and am hoping that being with him for an extended period of time will reawaken the intensity of the NRE's. However, I do wonder whether his lack of contact with me is reflective of his feelings for me, or his joy in having her home. I can understand being delighted at that and am happy for him. But would still like to have at least one lengthy conversation with him in a week. These 10 min. bits leave me feeling unsatisfied.
Copyright © 2001 Kyril Oakwind