Yesterday was my nest's Mabon ritual, led by a couple in the nest. I thought it went fine. They did a Drawing Down of Deities, both the God and Goddess. I very much like the idea of doing so and have missed it. And we cut out symbols of what we were harvesting in our lives and cut them out like a string of paper dolls, which was quite interesting, then we charged them up. The priest did the story of John Barleycorn and barley ale was used in the food and drink sharing. It was all quite interesting. We had a couple of people that are new to our rituals, one of whom, seemed to be making a connection with another. At least they were holding hands :) If that relationship develops that will be two started at our rituals this year. I find that fun.
One thing though that yesterday made clear to me is that I am just not getting what I need. We tend to talk small talk after circle and I have been feeling that as a major lack. People talk small talk all the time. It seems to me that the one time a month we get together for ritual we could talk about the season, deities, ritual mechanics, philosophy behind why we do what we do, or some other religion related topic but we never do. Tom said I should plan it. It seems to me that if this was the way others felt the topics would come up occasionally but they don't. I do a lot of the organizing and directing of our events and I am fine with that to an extent but it gets to be too much sometimes. I have been in other groups where the participants were interested in these kinds of discussions and no one had to plan it because the topics just came up. And the discussions would feed my soul as it were. I am not sure what to do about these feelings. We talked in the group about making some changes in the way we do ritual but have made no attempt to do so. Instead we have stopped doing ritual the way we did before and are now kind of in limbo ritually as far as I am concerned. And I am reluctant to direct things. If others are happy with the way things are it doesn't seem appropriate for me to be moving the group in a way that they don't want to go. Maybe I should just consider a sabbatical.
Copyright © 2001 Kyril Oakwind