I stayed up late last night and am doing it again tonight. It makes it easier to stay in bed then and sleep some with F. when he gets home from work in the morning, and I like doing that. This morning I remained in bed and that was very nice. After a bit he told me that R. was sleeping alone in the other room and that she often has nightmares when she does so he wanted me to come with him and share the bed with them. I was concerned about intruding on her space and her time with him but he assured me that it would be ok and that she wouldn't mind so I went with him. It worked out nicely though I admit that I was still concerned about it at first. But we all settled down and went back to sleep. Actually I didn't really sleep, I lazed about and watched the patterns behind my eyelids. I balanced on the edge of falling asleep, and stayed there so that I could watch the images. Being that deep allows an openness to dream-like images that come and go without actually being pulled into the loss of consciousness that usually goes with dreaming. It also allows one to see what might be. I described this to F. and R. while we were at the restaurant and she told me that she does it too and had not met someone else who did it. Truthfully I just figured if I could discover it that most other people must have too but she assured me that she had discussed it with others and mostly they didn't get it.
Later R. got up, and shortly after I did. We ended up sitting in the living room talking for quite a while. F. got up later though he only had about 4 hours sleep and joined us. We continued to talk until finally going out to eat at a local Chinese restaurant only a few blocks away from their house.
I stopped to touch the palm tree on the way out of their house. It felt good. And at the restaurant there was a lovely tree growing on the way and I touched it. In fact I kept reaching out to touch the plants and I felt filled with pleasure, energy, and bliss. R. commented that the tree had liked me, that finding people that could actually communicate with them produced a flood of energy. The food was quite good. But I am beginning to worry about them spending so much on me. The owner was adorable. He greeted F. enthusiastically and clearly liked him a great deal, which completely charmed me. And he came and spoke to us. Later he brought 2 persimmons that he grew himself and gave one to R. and one to me. Earlier I had told F. that I needed to buy some fruit, and here it was, just being offered freely by the universe. On the way out R. found some feathers that were under the tree I had communed with. They were not there when we went in to the restaurant. She gave them to me and said they represented freedom. That is an interesting talisman.
When we got home it was time for another nap. R. came to wake F. up to take her to work. She is a tarot reader at a local bookshop. I went with and got to meet some of the people they work with. It is really nice to have an image to go with the stories. While she worked we went and did some shopping, and stopped at a sword and armor shop called, the Sword and Stone. The owner does weapon production for the film industry and had some lovely pieces. He also does custom work, and could do a bronze athame for me but not til after December. Of course, I don't have the kind of money to have that done in any case but it is tempting.
Eventually we made it to the Laundromat and sat about waiting for the laundry to be done. We kissed and cuddled a bit. It was very nice. I am so in love with this man and he gives every indication of being in love with me too :)
We picked up R. after work and came home. F. went upstairs to take a nap before going to work. He really isn't getting enough sleep. R. and I sat up and watched a movie, "The Craft", together. And periodically commented on what was happening and the moral lesson it portrayed. I so enjoy her point of view. We have very similar ideas about some things, which gives us a lovely point of connection while still coming from different paths/traditions/ experiences, giving us something to share as well. After F. went to work (kissing us both goodbye in turn - something I get a kick out of - being able to share something like that joyfully.) we continued talking for several hours, finally heading off to bed about 1 am. I am so delighted that we are connecting so well. I love being able to do that with the partner of a lover and it is a rare occurance. It is one of the things that I love about my relationship with Jack and Kim as well.
R. is a beautiful, enchanting, powerful Goddess of a woman. I was so unsure of how she was going to be while I was here and none of my worries or concerns have come true at all.
I have felt periods of being blissfully happy today. And not just blissful but contented. Now I realize that contented might sound to some as if it were somehow less than bliss but to me bliss is for those rare times when everything is right and ecstasy happens. One can't live in that space all the time. Contentment is, at least to me, a kind of mundane ecstasy.
Copyright © 2001 Kyril Oakwind