I just realized that I haven't written in my journal for a month. Looking back it doesn't seem like that much has happened though. I went out to L.A. again and spent my three weeks there. We went to see Blade 2, a very violent action movie. Ron Perlman, one of my favorite actors was in it but I much prefer him when he plays good guys -- he is pretty effective as a bad guy; Panic Room, the main female character is clever and strong, and ultimately (well I guess that would be a spoiler so I won't continue that thought) but it is pretty scary and I don't like children being endangered ;Amelie, which I really enjoyed. It is quirky and unusual, has a kind of romance, and an interesting female lead; and Amadeus, the Director's Cut, a 1984 movie originally but quite good movie as well. Both Blade 2 and Panic Room are very violent but they were interesting. F. let me hide my eyes on his chest during one of the scenes in Blade 2 and put his arm around me to hold me close during the whole movie -- not just to cuddle and be close but to help me through the violence.
It was a difficult couple of weeks with a lot of emotional stress as I was dealing with other people's problems. At one point I seriously considered coming home early but F. and I talked about it and he decided that I would stick it out. I am glad that I did. For one thing it really is part of growing closer to go through difficult times together as well as joyful times. For another, I really enjoy my time with R. We talk about magick and enchantment, the world and where magick and reality mix, and how we feel and what is happening to us. We snuggle into each others energies and just enjoy being together. And of course, even though he was often depressed or distressed there were still wonderful times, enjoying each other's company, getting work done together, and good loving.
I experienced an episode of my brain going into an overactive image-making state which brought on a creative urge so I bought some pastels and drawing paper and did a piece. I left it out in L.A though as it didn't seem like it would pack well. Now I have an idea for three companion pieces so bought more drawing paper here. I already have the pastels. I also bought a book on pastels that has been interesting. Of course the problem is that I don't have much skill at it - and little ability to draw perspective. But I enjoy doing it and that is what counts.
Since I got back things have been a little odd. My laptop doesn't network. One of my nestmates met my ex-HPS at a conference, who disparaged me (I rather like this word and really don't use it much myself but it sounds very good coming out of "John Cage's" mouth). We met with a neighbor about buying some of our land and his offer was so low compared to our bottom line price that it doesn't look likely that he could come up enough for it to work out. Our nestmate had to cancel my Reiki 2nd attunement though we have rescheduled for Monday. And I have just been feeling a little withdrawn and generally not getting anything done (which my regular readers know by now is one of my issues).
Copyright © 2001, 2002 Kyril Oakwind