The Yule ritual last night went well. People generally felt that the ritual was more powerful than it has been for awhile. Perhaps we are adjusting to the new ritual opening that we are working with or perhaps people were in a more vulnerable space emotionally (as one nestie suggested) which allowed better energy flow and connection. The thought crossed my mind though that it could also be because I was leading the ritual. Egotistic isn't that? But for a long time I did lead all the rituals the nest did together so there could be an element of that seeming more familiar or comfortable than switching off between various leaders and I do have more experience in leading group ritual than anyone else there except possibly Linda.
We did the ritual that is becoming a definite tradition in the nest as I believe we have done it the last three years. It includes a period of complete darkness (except for all the little green lights on the computer monitors, disks, clocks, microwave, oven, etc.) where we speak of those things that we want to call into being for the coming year. We speak it into a cauldron and when we are done with our visioning for the future we light the candle in the cauldron as a symbol of the returning light, the birth of the Sun. We pass candles around to everyone then light a candle from the Sun candle. That light is then passed around the circle by lighting the candle of the person next to you and so on, to symbolize rebirth. And we dance and chant to raise a cone of power to energize and manifest the vision seeds we have spoken into the cauldron. We also pass around a basket of grab bag gifts. To share our visions of the future is an intimate act, an act of trust and magick.
Phoenix made the wassail, another nest tradition. She wasn't really satisfied with it but I thought it was good. Unfortunately with the cold I seemed to have I didn't feel that drinking more than a small amount to taste was a good idea. She left it here though so we may reheat it, add a bit more vodka to counteract evaporation of alcohol and have it again.
Yule has been a time when emotions run high and more than once there have been emotional confrontations or difficult situations. This one turned out to be no different in that regard. Hopefully, though that has settled out by now.
Two of my nestmates stayed after ritual and were here in the morning. We always have some good discussions when they do and I enjoy the opportunity to connect on a more personal level than we generally do otherwise. F. called in the morning but I told him I couldn't talk. He was very sweet about it and called later but I still couldn't talk. Since he was going to work and then had plans later we probably won't get to talk til tomorrow. I miss him though.
One of the things that we talked about was the BOS's selling on Ebay. We went and looked at them online. I find it somewhat unbelievable that people do this, both offer them for sale and buy them. They seem to be largely created out of published material available either in books or on the net. So why would someone buy them? We jokingly discussed my creating one and offering it for sale. And the hype we could use such as, offered by a Gardnerian High Priestess, etc. etc. Shudder!
We also talked about what we see as the fracturing of the Pagan community and a tendency to seek situations where others are doing the work, something like Sabbat Pagans as the equivalent to Easter Sunday Christians. It seems that many Pagans are not interested in doing the work of learning, of discipline, of practice and training. The desire for instant gratification seems rife in our society and I believe that we see the results of that amongst Pagans as well. Unfortunately this seems to create a rather shallow commitment to both, Paganism in general, and to the community. Certainly there are also many who are involved and committed but they seem to me to be spread rather thinly.
My feeling motivated has suffered a minor setback in that the recumbent exercycle is still not in at "Play it Again". I really wanted to go and trade in my upright exercycle for the recumbent one and get back to exercising first thing tomorrow. Unfortunately they are still not in. The person that I spoke to at the store told me that one of their shippers went out of business and the exercycles are now sitting in Chicago while they try and get them shipped. Sigh… So it is back to taking walks up and down my hilly drive. I can and will take other walks but my concern has been that it would soon be too snowy for it.
Copyright © 2001, 2002 Kyril Oakwind