I did do a few things today but haven't been very active. I noticed that this month it has been very up and down as to my mood and my level of energy. If this is due to the perimenopause then I can't wait for it to be done with.
Today I have been working on my journal, getting the New Year stuff started, putting away our Yule decorations, talking with friends on ICQ, and listening to Harry Chapin. I also spent an hour writing email to M.
An odd thing happened a few minutes ago. Our neighbor called and asked us if we were interested in selling land that adjoins his property. He has asked us before and we told him no. This time we told him we don't really know if we are interested but that we will give him the first chance if we do. I doubt that he would be interested in paying what we would want to get out of it but you never know.
I have been thinking about this last year. I read my entry for the beginning of last year where I talked about having no motivation. The description of being in school totally focused on that and not having energy or interest in other things could be used now if I replace school with F. and our relationship. At the end of the entry I said I was still holding to the idea that I could actually meditate, get things done, progress on the Tai Chi form, etc. Sigh… So here it is a year later and I have not kept up with meditating, not made much progress on my other projects, and gone from the 8th movement to somewhere around 16-20 which is about halfway through the short form. On the other hand I also did my clergy 7 day juice fast, attended festivals this summer, led a healing ritual at CAWmunity, Starwood, fell in love and now spend around 30% of my time in L.A. and am focused on achieving an extended family situation where we are living together or near each other anyway.
A year ago the person helping with Tea & Talk had a schedule change and I took over everything. This year I passed it on to other members of my nest since I am not always in town for it. (Thanks guys!) Corey moved out almost a year ago. And we still haven't gotten all of the kids' stuff out of their old bedroom. We have created a storage area in the barn and put a lot of it out there but still have a substantial amount to go through. And last year at this time we were gearing up to working on Pagan Pride Day but as I am not the chairperson this year don't have that to worry about either.
One of the things I do notice in rereading my journal is just how up and down my energy levels have been all year. If this is just my pattern then I guess I will have to live with it, expect to have days of getting lots done followed by days of not much. I wish I knew what the trigger was though.
Copyright © 2001, 2002 Kyril Oakwind